For those parents and students who are troubled by permissive attitudes about inappropriate and offensive "grinding" at school dances in Appleton and elsewhere, there is good news. Nearby Neenah, Wisconsin has demonstrated at its last prom and other dances that "class" can still be part of school functions. Classy behavior without an abundance of grinding appears to be the norm at Neenah High dances. I congratulate Neenah High students, parents, and school officials! Whatever you all are doing to create that classy culture, I hope we can import it to Appleton, where we still have more of a problem with permissiveness toward bad behavior.

I know people are horribly offended to be told that their behavior or their children's behavior is inappropriate. Some can't imagine that in an earlier, more decent era that some "accepted" public behaviors today would have gotten a young man slapped, thrown out, and possibly suspended or even arrested. Some can no longer imagine why the so-called "dance" form of grinding is inappropriate and offensive, why it creates a hostile and unsafe environment for some kids, or, for example, why some young women would feel sexually assaulted to have an unknown male grab her from behind and begin grinding his hips against hers. This can now be done without fear of punishment of even noticeable objection from others. This kind of behavior, however, is much closer to sexual activity and sexual assault than it is to appropriate public dancing. Some parents and young people have spoken out on this issue, but school officials have had a hard time doing anything more than letting committees of popular "pro-grinding" students make predictable comments on the few complaints received. (Am I wrong? Am I missing some more serious action? I hope so - let me know.)

Many young people and their families have simply chosen to avoid school dances to keep away from that kind of atmosphere.

I had heard that this is just how it is going to be everywhere, but reports from trusted eye-witnesses at Neenah dances indicate that much better behavior is possible in school dances. Congratulations to Neenah, whose school dances rocks. Appleton's still need improvement. But be careful about expressing such an opinion for it suggests that somebody isn't doing their job when it comes to maintaining a safe and wholesome environment for our kids, and that's pretty darn offensive to some. So be it.

As for the Appleton area prom, the defense will surely be offered that the prom is not really a school event since it's done off school property by a third-party. But the schools still promote it and make it the Appleton prom, and surely can't be without responsibility for the nature of the event.